


Self Discovery

by sondeneige



Category: Tokyo Ghoul
Genre: (kinda spoilers for the fic there but I mean come on), Asexual Kaneki Ken | Sasaki Haise, Day 3 Questioning, Fluff, Hidekane Week, Hidekane Week 2018, Human AU, M/M, this is just a little thing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-25
Updated: 2018-07-25
Packaged: 2019-06-15 05:06:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 798
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15405627
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sondeneige/pseuds/sondeneige
Summary: Kaneki is unsure and afraid, Hide seems to have the answers to everything.





	Self Discovery

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks to Midori for reading this through for me :) hope y'all enjoy.

Hide leans into Kaneki, deepening the kiss, his hands lift to go around Kaneki’s waist and pull Kaneki snug against him, chest to chest. Kaneki makes a noise in his throat, reciprocating the kiss and tilting his head. Hide makes a happy noise of appreciation and shifts his hips forwards, his interest in the situation becoming very clear. 

Kaneki pulls away. 

Hide does as well. “Sorry,” he says, “too much?” 

Kaneki nods meekly, “Sorry.”

“No, no don’t be sorry. I only want to do what you’re ready for, when you’re ready for it.”

Kaneki sits down heavily on the bed beside them. “We’ve been together for six months Hide. I don’t know much about relationships but I do know that usually people… do more before now.” 

“Well just because  _ people  _ do doesn’t mean that we have to.” Hide says firmly, sitting beside Kaneki. 

“Yeah, yeah. I know that,” Kaneki eyes Hide, “I also know that you would like more though.” 

“Ignore me, I can take care of myself, I have hands.” 

Kaneki makes a face. 

“I’m serious Kaneki, I’m not going to say that I wouldn’t like more, because I would. You’re beautiful, and I will admit that I have always been a horny person.” Kaneki’s face scrunches up more. “But I’m also never going to pressure you into something you’re not ready for. I can handle myself, like I always have.”

Kaneki nods, “Yeah I know, I just… don’t know when that will be and I feel bad making you wait.” He clenches his hands, “Maybe you would be better off with someone who could-”

_ “No,” _ Hide interrupts. Kaneki is startled by Hide’s ferocity and looks up into his eyes, “don’t you dare say that. Don’t you dare  _ think _ that. I’m with  _ you,  _ I want to be with you. Sex or no sex.” 

Kaneki can’t believe Hide can say something so incredible with such finality, with such surety. He has never felt so loved in his life, tears spring to his eyes. He nods weakly, not trusting his voice. 

“Listen,” Hide says softly, “maybe this isn’t the right time but, have you ever considered whether you might be asexual?”

“A-sexual? I’m bi.”

“No, no I- I know you are, and you can be both, kind of. Asexuality is a lack of sexual attraction. It’s different for every person but it’s when you just like, don’t ever look at a person and go ‘yeah I’d go for that’.”

Kaneki blinks, then asks, “Do people actually think that?” 

“I mean… I do,” Hide responds, “not everyone who isn’t asexual does, it’s a spectrum.” 

“Oh,” Kaneki says almost silently. “I’ve never heard of asexuality before.”

“Yeah a lot of people haven’t, I don’t know a ton about it but there’s loads online and there’s even different types I think too.” 

Kaneki stares down at his hands. 

Hide bumps shoulders with him, “Just a thought I’ve had recently.”

Kaneki looks up at Hide at the contact, “Yeah. Yeah no it’s a good thought, thank you Hide. I’ll look into it.”

“That sounds like a good plan,” Hide smiles gently. “For now though would you like to cuddle?”

“Yes please.”

~ ~ ~

“So I did some research,” Kaneki says.

“Good afternoon to you too,” Hide replies, laughing. 

Kaneki frowns but sits down on the park bench beside Hide where they had planned to meet for their date. Hide reaches for Kaneki’s hand and gives it a squeeze. 

“Research? How fancy of you, I personally try to avoid doing research at all costs.”

Kaneki’s frown increases. 

“I’m teasing Kaneki,” Hide would like nothing more than to kiss the frown off Kaneki’s face but knows the public affection would make him uncomfortable. “Please, I would really like to hear about your research. Research about what?”

“Asexuality,” Kaneki replies. 

“Oh. Oh!” Hide tries to look neutral about the results of Kaneki’s research. 

“I found some forums. I may have stayed up… very late reading them… ”  

“And?” Hide prompts.

“I’m kind of overwhelmed to be honest. It all makes so much sense, fits so well, and I can’t believe that I’ve never heard of asexuality before.” 

“That’s great Kaneki! So you think it makes sense for you, that you’re asexual?”

Kaneki nods the tiniest bit, moving to pull his hand from Hide’s. 

“What’s wrong?” Hide asks, not letting go of Kaneki’s hand. “This is good isn’t it, that you know more about yourself?”

“Was worried you’d be upset,” Kaneki says quietly. 

“Why would I be upset Kaneki? I was the one who suggested it. And I told you, I want to be with you, sex or no sex.”

“Thank you Hide, I’m still figuring it out, letting it all sink in,” Kaneki takes a deep breath. “But thank you Hide, for everything.”

“You’re welcome Kaneki, I love you.” 


End file.
